If the NHL was high school:
Anaheim would be the kid that beats you up and steals your lunch money.
Atlanta would be the slutty cheerleader everyone scores on.
Boston would be the kid who you want to like…but you can't because he smells.
Buffalo would be the kid who never can afford to go anywhere or do anything.
Calgary would be the bipolar popular chick who can please many people when she's up but when she's down she tries to commit suicide.
Carolina would be the farmer kid with a mullet.
Chicago would be the really old kid that has yet to hit puberty.
Colorado would be the kid who did really well in elementary school and is just a slacker now.
Columbus would be the kid who puts rims on his bike wheels and pretends he's driving a BMW.
Dallas would be the kid with the weird accent.
Detroit would be the foreign exchange student.
Edmonton would be the kid that was accidentally castrated in the early 1990's and hasn't been the same since.
Florida is the kid who can never fit in.
Los Angeles would be the kid who always misses school.
Minnesota would be the kid who's older brother was an All-American jock who got all the girls and success, but he is just a water boy.
Montreal would be the kid who wants to trade you his apple for your Subway sandwich.
Nashville would be that kid with the dad in the military. He's ok, but you don't want to be best friends with him because you know he'll be moving soon.
Ottawa would be the kid that breezes through the school year and then blows the final exams.
Phoenix would be the kid that always ends up doing better than you.
Philadelphia would be the kid who's always suspended.
Pittsburgh would be the crybaby tattle tail.
New Jersey would be the really boring kid.
New York Islanders would be the kid who has his/her whole life planned out already. Or at least the next 14 years.
New York Rangers would be the rich kid.
San Jose would be the kid that always over studies for the finals and ends up bombing them.
St. Louis would be the smooth talking kid who gets you to trade your snack pack to him for half an apple.
Tampa Bay would be the prom queen who got pregnant and now she's not the same as she used to be.
Toronto would be the girl with major issues.
Washington would be the kid that nobody knows.
Vancouver would be the class clown. Entertaining, but ends up going nowhere.